I love Halloween week so much because I love feeling scared or having an eerie feeling wash over me. I don't know why I get a kick out of it... I'm just freaky like that. I've been thinking a lot about hurricane Sandy on the East Coast (and feeling nostalgic to all the places and people I know who live over there). While I'm worrying & wishing that somehow I could help those who's days and lives are harder because of it, I'm fascinated by the End of the World scare that everyone is pushing around.
Fear is exhilarating. It's such a real feeling that can make you go through some wild emotions you've never thought you had. Fear is dark, unknown, and strong enough to tear someone down. I'm trying to recall the most scared I have been... Here are two things I am scared of, and a few more just to name.
My fear of natural disaster. I think this is also why I'm so fascinated by Mother Nature's wrath & my craving to wake up to research Hurricane Sandy. When I was little and it was raining really bad, I would turn on the Weather Channel on the TV in my bedroom and would keep it on after my parents went to bed. I would stay up until day light just watching the colors on the screen move as the red became closer or grew further from my home. During the nights where we had tornado warnings, I would be so scared that I would sleep at the top of the stairs because I was far from windows & mirrors, or I would take a nap in the bathtub with my stuffed bunny rabbit, Tommy.
My fear of water. This one time in my sophomore year, my friend, Mike, and I swam from the start of a man-made water quarry to an little island in the middle, and of course I hyperventilated because a tree touched my foot and I thought I was going to drown. Mike was smart in survival skills and dragged me to the island with a log, where I proceeded to freak out while repeating "I'm not swimming back Mike, I'm just not going, I'm staying here, I don't know what to tell you". I don't think those were my exact words because I was actually probably throwing curse words left and right, but my point is that I was terrified to the point where my breathing was disrupted. Ugh, I hate swimming.
My fear of water. This one time in my sophomore year, my friend, Mike, and I swam from the start of a man-made water quarry to an little island in the middle, and of course I hyperventilated because a tree touched my foot and I thought I was going to drown. Mike was smart in survival skills and dragged me to the island with a log, where I proceeded to freak out while repeating "I'm not swimming back Mike, I'm just not going, I'm staying here, I don't know what to tell you". I don't think those were my exact words because I was actually probably throwing curse words left and right, but my point is that I was terrified to the point where my breathing was disrupted. Ugh, I hate swimming.
There was that one time I was walking around Downtown Oakland, CA by myself at about 4:00 am and had no clue where I was going. There was also another time I bungee-jumped on my 18th birthday where I had sweated so bad, had to be pushed off, and almost cried after I was released. I also had a fear/hatred for bridges because they used to throw off my balance & I would become nauseous. As for childhood fears, I can't really tell you that I remember anything exactly scary to me besides for walking up the stairs in dark basements & earwigs. I hate earwigs. I guess I'll have to ask my parents about more of my childhood fears. Dad, are you reading this?
Here are some spooky and creepy photos that will make you feel uncomfortable. Enjoy the feeling, but enjoy the relief of finishing this post even more. I hope everyone has a fun Halloween. Please feel free to share with me your fears, scary stories, or epic & honestly creepy Halloween costumes.
DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME for the last one. Hahah. I just remembered that Pee Wee Herman makes me feel all kinds of uncomfortable. Ugh.
Spook ya later, Alexz.
Great post. Most people don't embrace what they fear, but hide from it instead. I have a huge fear that haunts me everyday: I am afraid of swallowing pills. I used to be ashamed and embarrassed to tell anyone, but I'm not anymore. I don't know why I fear it. I swallow food bigger than pills. Yet, I can never get them down. I also think I have a fear of death, but I'm not really sure what it is about death that I fear. Whether its not knowing where I'm going or what I will be doing after this life, or just the fact that I will lose people around me. I love that I can talk about these now and not feel fear just in writing this. (And sorry this is so long).
ReplyDeletehaha loved it alexz, and those photos are AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteAwesome pics! Love the post:)
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You were not afraid of much. When we rode the roller coaster in reverse was the first time you showed some fear.
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